Today I found the following message on the Internet.
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I have a mediation intake in chicago this week?
for visitation issues i never went to this what to expect and how long its gonna be and why now do i have to go
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Here is my answer.
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When family court judges realize that father and mother cannot agree on some key issues related to their children (i.e. custody and visitation), they prefer to send them to mediation. Why? Because they (the judges) know that, whenever possible, it is better if both parents decide by themselves what’s best for their own children.
Thus, in your case the mediator’s job will be:
- To understand (a) what kind of proposal you and the other parent have in mind in terms of visitation; and (b) why you think that your proposal will benefit your children.
- To figure out (a) whether your and the other parent’s proposal are relatively close (if so, perhaps the two of you can work out a mutually acceptable agreement to present to the judge); or (b) whether your respective proposals are so apart, that no mediated agreement is possible – and therefore only a judge can decide how to settle your visitation issues.
Depending on your mediator’s style and experience, he or she will ask for your proposal in private session or joint session. Either way, keep in mind the following.
- The mediator is neutral – and therefore doesn’t give advice or make decisions.
- The chances that your mediation will be successful are higher if (a) you stay calm and focused only your children’s future; and (b) you stay away from any accusations about what happened in the past between you and the other parent.
